12.22

This photo is rocking my boat. I really just want to make things, but I have been road blocked with my space limitations in Tulsa.

12.15

I have nothing new.

I am regretting much of

life and liberty

My cats drink from my

Glass of water and pee it

all over my floor

I don't think I'm right

people might say otherwise

But I am not wrong

12.11

As some of you may know, I stopped using shampoo more than two weeks ago. While my hair is different, it looks better now. I mix one tablespoon of baking soda with a cup of water and "scrub" that into my hair when it feels greasy, and I rinse it with the same ratio of apple cider vinegar as a conditioner. I have also just been washing my face with baking soda but continuing to use my Lush products for moisturizer/toner as it is Winter.

but

about my hair

I've washed it every day since I can remember and blow dried/straightened it everyday since 8th grade. This year I have been growing my hair out and straightening it less. Now that I am not shampooing it feels incredibly strong and healthy.

I go to Tulsa this week and stay through the holiday. I am not sure if I want to be in KC or Tulsa for the new year. Class starts on the second, so I feel like I should be here. I just like my friends in both places. I guess we will see.

I hope everyone's gifts go over well.

I hope that the cats live through the car ride and location change.

Lc is old.

12.5

Reflections On This Semester.

How did this semester go?

-Eh, I did better health wise (ie. I lost weight a normal people way, and I slept a normal amount-ish)

-People stole lots of my ideas forcing me to change my approach to some of my projects.

-I'm still not satisfied with my education from KCAI's fiber department, but I am doing enough independent research that I think I'll be confident enough with whatever job I choose. My peers lowering my degree's meaning? Well... no shit. People will graduate not knowing how to knit. FROM A FIBER DEPARTMENT.

-I made a lot of scarves and enjoyed them.

-I am better at sketching.

-I have a kitten.

So I've been making spacesuits all semester.

Why?

Because, not only am I fascinated by our approach to space, I think they are a good representation of my misanthropic approach to life.

My first two were designed while watching a lot of "old school" science fiction and trying to ignore/conceal why I was making them (mostly due to my embarrassment). I put people in them and made them bluntly silver.

My second two were designed with more concepts. My "man" is limited, but his face is open. He has no use of his arms and his pants are only two feet long. His suit glows has chaotic stitching that glows in the dark and a glowinthedark printed "snowflake" pattern. The pattern shows silver in normal light where as the stitching is hidden. To me they represent my attempt at attracting people as a child. I would practice these things at night to seem normal and accomplished during the day.

My female suit is see-through on the tops of the legs and middle of chest. The helmet limits all senses and contact with the outside. The hidden exposure is related to the way "Friends" exist in the world. You have very little control over what is posted of you on the internet/said through text. Maybe I shouldn't be writing all this, but I take comfort in the fact that very few people read this nonsense.

Edit: Had the best critique in my KCAI history over my men's suit. Thank you to my quilting class and Professor, Kim Eichler-Messmer.

12.4

I am exhausted. I have a three weeks until my Winter class begins, during which I will be trekking to Tulsa for the absolute no expectations of my childhood friends. I really enjoy them. We all chose completely different paths in life yet get along and exist on similar intellectual levels. I find it inspiring to relax with them/be my alter-self with people who accept me.

Winter class ideas :

Crochet forms from silk strips

Weave shit tons of fabric

Make art about my mother

- I am very unsure about this. It is easier for me to create from the ripple effects my mothers death has placed in my life; my father, various hospital visits, anxiety patterns, isolation, but I have never just dealt with the actual event.

--I am nervous that I will not do my mother justice.

--- I have elevated her above human nature and made her a driving force for every action of my life.

----How can I make something worthy of my creator?