6.11/2

He was still there when I woke up. I thought he had left sometime around 3, when the door was opened and closed. But now, in the clear light of 6:27am, I could see him laid out on my couch. He was turned facing the back, my mother's blanket covering him and a good portion of the floor. I tried to pull off my best fake sleeping (perfected in the days of not getting up for church), but I was pretty sure my breathing had already changed due to my surprise, dread. He was also much too quiet to be alseep, but was not making any noise.
I counted to 100, being very aware the sound my eyelashes made against my pillow, waiting for him to move, cough, anything. At this moment, I wanted more than anything, not to have a studio apartment. I breathed deeply through my nose and started to "wake up". I saw his back tense as I sat up. I checked my phone for about 30 seconds trying to see how this would play out, and once it became clear he was going to keep playing the sleep card, I swung my feet off onto my floor.
Nothing.
It crossed my mind that he was dead.
I checked for and found signs of breathing, but even with me staring at him for a good 8 counts, he didn't turn over or open his eyes.
Whatever.
I made my bed quietly and went in to the bathroom.
- he's still here
- ....
- what doido?
- is he next to you?
- no, couch
- well you can't take it back now
- hah thanks you cunt
- xo come rub mine
I took a shower, because what else do you do in the only other room of cramped, city apartments? As I scrubbed my scalp with citrus shampoo, I hoped that, with the loud white noise, he would take the opportunity to wake up, leave, whatever. When I stepped out of the shower, there was only the water running down the pipe and silence. I took pretty long showers and certainly didn't rush this one. Hopefully, he was gone.
But as I opened the door, it became clear that he was far from gone. It was darker, which was common during storms in our area, but it made my unlit living room very dim. All the boxes I had flattened and put in the trash corner of the hall were stacked together in the middle of my apartment. His head stuck out from the middle of the makeshift room, and I could tell he was bare chested. He looked surprised to see me and expressed concern while pushing a stack of boxes to open an inviting "door". I laughed and inspected the creases of my forehead with my fingers to avoid his wide-eyed gaze. I asked what he was up to, and he beckoned me in the boxes.
As I stepped in, he unwrapped my towel, and I noticed he was naked. His friend, Alex, was sitting at his feet, smiling at my body. He always pulled shit like this. He gently wiggled the box door back into the wall, and I sat down on my discarded towel. Alex finally met my eyes and smiled sweetly. I kissed Alex softly on the cheek. I explained that I needed to go to work in an hour, and that he needed to decide whether or not he would give me a ride. Alex replied first informing me that I had plenty of time. They were laughing at each other. Their inside jokes killed me. I realized that Alex was still wearing her shirt, and I looked at him for answers. They told me I was stuck in my head.
I felt a little bit of guilt as I stood up and broke down the box fort with my shoulder. Their shouts asking me what my deal was went unanswered. I picked up my phone from the bathroom counter.
- their hair is too spiky
- lol waht?
- alex's here, come here
- dude [?]
- lol shut up i need a ride plz?
I pulled some clothes out of the hamper and dressed. He was rebuilding the fort. Alex was watching me through door, I had forgotten to close, while she started to brew coffee. I looked like a mess. It was getting darker. When I asked how bad the storm was supposed to be, they both seemed surprised and raised their eyebrows in unison. I was becoming fed up. How could they not see out the damn window?