8.26

Oh Facebook,
I swear you are the downfall of our social structure. Your promotion of passive aggressive communication has killed any energy I had for action.
Today, I logged in to find a girl posting a complaint about someone being in love with her. That would be extremely embarrassing and count as bullying if viewed from the enamored human's stance.
and then I logged off.
because people are jerks.

8.21

The thing about school is that it is a bunch of shit.
I am finally able to take the classes I am interested in, and learn the things I actually want to learn and understand, but I only have a year. I guess I have taken a few other classes in previous years that I enjoyed but, for the first time, I actually want to know what my classes can teach me. I get why we have requirements but damn! I know that going through that shit is the only way I have matured to be able to realize this. I guess that is the catch 22 of growing up. Only after you have grown can you realize what you should have done.
But I am a pretty hesitant person.
Largely invested in feeling and emotions.
You telling me "what you wanted to happen" means nothing to me, and I must come to the conclusion myself. Since when did we believe forcing people to have similar shitty experiences as us would generate the same person. That is physically impossible on a universal level.
And the bullying?
Still?
Geez, guys!
and why are people still taking things personally? I know everyone has bullied. I know everyone has been the person to make another feel awful. Even if it was unintentional, we have all hurt each other's feelings in some way or another.
I'm not arguing that peoples feelings are invalid or worthless, but everyone should have a grasp of life's tragedies by this age. Yet, I feel celebrities come forward with these "I was bullied" claims to humanize them. These claims fail to humanize them because the rest of us "humans" were bullied and don't use it as an excuse.
Yes, teasing can be awful and snowball into larger, more serious issues.
No, there is not an excuse for being disrespectful and mean to others.
I'm saying that this is a part of being human.


I can't tell if she is saying things like it on purpose so that I have to guess, but by this point she can't hide it anymore. Her car pulls up the driveway, and I watch her collect her things and lower herself out of her car. As she approaches the door, I continue to stare through the window. My fingers trace the green velvet of the chair as she opens the door. I look at her, then at the dye work on my jeans. My heart cowers in my chest. She greets me and smiles sweetly when I don't respond. I watch her put a bag in the kitchen, and I try to memorize her hair style so I don't have to look at any other part of her. She tells me some thing about how lunch went with her mother, but my subconscious fills in any gaps in her story with a few "oh yeah?"s and "well, thats good"s. She sticks her head around the corner and smiles again. "Mom was really happy", she whispered smugly as if saying it loudly would disprove it's truth.
I smiled and my shoulders became lead.

5.30

I was told A Clockwork Orange was my mother's favorite movie. I wanted forever to watch it by myself and was pleasantly surprised when I, also, enjoyed this obscure movie. I guess it is my favorite movie? I've probably seen it 20 times with in the past year and a half, and read countless articles about its sub-context. Cromwell would be proud. That's for sure.
I haven't read the book though. Kubrick's ending is just so much more enticing. I am also afraid that the book will let me down. How can it be better than this masterpiece of fantasy?
I know that the book places emphasis on growing out of these violent stages with the ending of adolescence; making the statement that all teenagers act like this and society should accept this the way ancient ones did. Male lions leave the pack when they come of age. Right, right? Right. Right.
School starts on Monday.
Here are some stuffs that I've been checkin, 

I couldn't decide if I should write things under each photo, or if that would be pointless and a waste of everybody's time. But then I'm like, "Well, they have come to read your blog Lynn..". To which I respond, "Is it weird that I talk to myself in 3rd person?", but then I counter with, "No. It is weirder that you write about it on a blog". 

What have you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on?

I'mma tell you a secret cause I'm bored. 

Nope. I wrote it out and decided against it. HA. 

suckers.

thinking I'd give up a secret all willy nilly.